Stop reading this and log the heck off!

It's been a little while since I have written here. Partly because I have been busy with work, and partly because I am in a season where I simply do not want to be on the computer any more than I have to be. For a variety of reasons, I have felt the need to detach a bit. Much to the frustration of my friends and family, and this includes my lovely wife, I rarely have my phone with me these days. No, I didn't get your text! (I even switched to an old flip phone for nearly two weeks until it completely stopped working for no apparent reason.) I have carved out so much more time for reading, writing, exercise, and family time lately, and it is mostly due to the fact that I have finally been able to ditch social media for the most part.

"for the most part."

I have a lot of complex feelings around this little phrase in this context, and I'd suggest it's indicative of a larger phenomenon that we all recognize, though there may be a range of opinions on how bad it all is, or if it's even bad at all. Whether we want to be or not, we are all tangled in this massive web of technology that, at the end of the day, primarily exists to serve the financial interests of those who had the means to create it in the first place. I hate to sound like a cranky old man, but it is worth it to pause and reflect on the impact this has had on our lives, especially considering the fact that much of what we are now inundated with are things that we never really asked for. The food we eat, the way we navigate the world, the way we are educated, our anxiety level, our attention span, what qualifies as "entertainment," and the way we view and interact with each other, even those closest to us, have all been radically altered by all of this. Instruments of uninterrupted tracking and advertising are masquerading as modern conveniences while the A.I. slop filling our timelines continues to lower the societal intellectual bar.

I digress. Believe it or not, I have the self awareness to realize how annoying I sound right now. However, I can be unapologetically honest about my frustration when it comes to how difficult it can be to run a photography business without playing this game to some degree. I suppose it's hard to run any business without having some presence on Facebook or Instagram, which probably means a non-insignificant portion of your business' success is being dictated by the whims of a cybernated algorithm that is completely out of your control. Freedom! But dont worry: just keep working really hard and pulling up those bootstraps and one day it will be YOU and your mastery behind the curtain, yanking the algorithm's strings, making it dance to your cryonically-preserved heart's content, and raking in the hard drives full of digitized shitcoin as a result!

But don't let me ruin social media for you! I realize some of you have managed to make your algorithm more inspirational than toxic. I never could, and maybe that's somehow my fault. Or maybe you simply thrive in a toxic environment! Good for you! And I promise I don't mean to make it sound like every piece of technology is inherently bad. I don't really think that is the case, and despite my ramblings thus far, thats not really what this article is supposed to be about. My frustration lies more with the entire industry being controlled by a small handful of people, with "economic growth," and the ensuing gains in personal wealth, being the end goal, and you having very little say over your own personal level of participation. It's hard to navigate the world without a smartphone! It's hard to maintain a career without a computer! It's even harder to use these tools without getting caught in the snares of surveillance or drowning in the rising tide of lowbrow boomer memes.

But none of us have anything to hide, right? So I guess none of this is a big deal after all! Thats very fortunate, actually, because I don't have any prescriptions for our collective brain rot anyways other than to log off, which we can't do because we're addicted. What else can we really do about it except complain, or just accept the bleak reality that we will have to digitally coexist in the same obnoxious dimension as annoying guys like Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk for all of eternity once they've uploaded our individual consciousnesses to the X, The Everything App, Cloud or whatever?

I digress again.

I am a photographer who happens to photograph a fair amount of weddings right now, and I have long thought about the ways that Big Tech has influenced the entire wedding industry. The comparison game, the trends, the advertising, and the staged photoshoots all work together to form the perception of a required perfection that will be on full display as soon as you post your adorable proposal photos on Instagram. The algorithm takes over from there. If I am being completely honest, I hate the fact that there is a "wedding industry" to begin with. Maybe it's because I am a mostly religious person and I would prefer something like a wedding to remain more intimate and sacred. Or maybe it's because I hate that capitalism has to insert its grimy, insatiable claws into every little thing making profit the driving force for everyone involved throughout the entire process.

At the same time, I suppose we all have to eat. Myself included. You could call me a hypocrite for being so upset about this while charging a not-so-small amount of money to photograph your wedding, and maybe you wouldn't be wrong. I don't know. Again, I don't have any prescriptions here. I am just thinking out loud and you're reading along. I don't really know how to reconcile the fact that I hate the industry with the fact that I am a part of it. I am grateful that more and more people seem to be acting more intentionally when it comes to planning their weddings. More people seem to be prioritizing the things that matter most to them: people and place. The over all theatrics seem to be taking a back seat in favor of smaller, more intimate gatherings among close family and friends. Or maybe these are just the types of people who connect with my work and always seem to find me.

This is what I loved so much about Ayla and Will's wedding. Ayla got ready for the day in her childhood home with the help of her mother and her friends. Her and Will got married in the park next door where they both spent a lot of time growing up. The reception and dancing took place in an old dairy barn on the same property. Nothing that the industry had to say seemed to matter to them. They kept things small, and they kept it local. They spent the day in a place that is important to them, and they spent it with the people who matter most. I am not here to lecture anyone about whether or not there is a right or wrong way to do your wedding, but their particular mindset in all of this is one that really resonates with me. Fortunately for me, its not just Ayla and Will. They're just a recent example. The majority of my clients are like this. They all seem to be rooted in the things that matter most to them.

I've been happily married for 15 years myself, so I don't need to worry about another wedding, but playing even a tiny part in these weddings is a brilliant reminder of the importance of people and place. For me, this mostly means being present where I am. It means being present with my family. It means actually being present with the other people close to me in my life. It means being present in my community. It means observing the world through my own two eyes and not simply reacting to what I see on the other side of the screen. It means keeping things small, and keeping things local. It's a reminder that you don't have to buy what everyone else is selling. Most of all, and I may write more about this at a later date, it means paying attention. This has been so much easier for me since I have have managed to spend less time on the World Wide Web.

This shouldn't come as any surprise, but I would encourage you to do the same. Log off. There is no shortage of insane headlines out there these days, and I am not saying that you should tune them out entirely or stop caring about whatever it may be that you care about. I do question how effective it is for us to stay perpetually anxious while we yell at each other on apps where already-rich people get even richer by advertising Swoveralls or A.I. girlfriends to us. I worry about what literacy could look like in the not-so-distant future. I worry about attention spans and our ability to process new information. This is going to sound more conspiratorial than I'd like, but I worry that some combination of social media, algorithms, and A.I. may be a new form of privatized "public education."

I don't know, man. I just think we should be more like Ayla and Will. We should plant our roots in the places that matter to us, and we should plant them alongside the people that matter most to us. And it may be best if we log the heck off while we do it.

Disclaimer: My thoughts on any of my posts may not necessarily be completely endorsed by my clients. This is just a place for me to be honest about what is on my mind, share some of my work, and talk about how they may be intertwined. Thanks for reading!